Fiscally Responsible Date Night

Like most couples, my husband and I enjoy a date night every once in a while. After spending my days cleaning spit-up, changing diapers and transforming Transformers, a little adult company sans kiddos can feel like a tropical vacation. But constant date nights can get expensive, and finding regular babysitters to head out for a night on the town can prove problematic.

Instead, my husband and I have adopted a great, though unorthodox, evening at home that offers us all the coveted joys sought in an evening with your spouse: alone time, deep communication, practice in conflict resolution and patience, soul-searching, and planning for your future together all without costing you a cent.

How do we achieve all of this in a single date night?

Discuss our finances.

At first thought, this may not sound like the most stress-relieving, romantic time with your spouse, but let us take a moment to see why it can be.

What is more stress-relieving than having a strong hold on your financial situation?

By keeping the lines of communication open on this subject, you will build strong bonds of commitment, understanding and togetherness. By spending your night together hashing out your budget and making major financial decisions, you will grow together in the one area that is often mentioned as a top reason couples separate. How wonderful would it be to come together on this topic as opposed to grow farther apart?

As for the romance, you must create it! Set the tone for your evening by altering your surroundings. Rather than sitting together at a cold, businesslike desk with a strong overhead light and pens in hand, rethink where you discuss your finances.

Consider moving it to the living room or den, softening the lights, adding some lavender-scented candles, a dish of chocolates, some wine and play a romantic CD in the background. Set the mood of which you fantasize about when you think "date night" and the romance will follow. Having a soft, romantic ambiance will keep you both calm during those heated moments of your discussion (which there are bound to be).

And don't skimp on the emotion. Part of being a solid couple is being open and expressive with your spouse in every way: from joy to worry to anger. Stay away from name-calling, negative behavior, or blame but be open about your own thoughts and feelings about your fiscal situation. By making yourself vulnerable, you will grow closer together as you work through any conflicts or decisions.

So next time you are considering a pricey date night or night out, rethink your plans and try staying home, cuddling on the couch and planning your financial future. The more often you make this your alone time, the easier and more rewarding it will become.

Be open. Be honest. Be productive. Be romantic.

For more great homemaking and marriage posts, check out: To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Far Above Rubies, The Better Mom, Learning the Frugal Life, Growing Home, and Time Warp Wife