I Am Certainly Not a Natural

Before I became I mother, I had very little interaction with other children.  I almost never babysat and the few times I did, I was not very good at it.  None of my friends had children yet so I couldn't even practice on them.  I was clueless how a child's mind functioned and how much they knew or didn't know by certain ages.  Even now, beyond the age of three (my oldest), I am completely clueless about children.

Once I became a mother, some things still did not come naturally to me.  Specifically play time.  As my son started to become aware of his surroundings, I had no idea what to do with him or how to interact with him.  I loved toys that did all the work (music, wiggling, and talking) since I had no idea where his imagination or brain development was.  I let the age range on the toy box tell me whether or not he was ready for a particular toy.

My husband, however, is the oldest of nine.  He has had quite a bit of experience with children.  From the moment we had our first child, he was a play-time pro.  I am still amazed how easily he can take a toy and entertain our children.  He gets so involved in their play and knows exactly what to say or do to keep the excitement rolling on almost any toy.  I admire him greatly.

Myself, I have to learn.  To some, playing with children comes naturally.  I find myself sitting on the floor with my children, surrounded by toys, silent and waiting for them to show me how to play.  Each day I learn more and more and interact more and more.  Sometimes I feel like I am failing, especially when I compare myself to the full blown animation and voices of my husband screeching a train around GeoTown and exploding a pony at just the right moment.  But I am trying.  I am opening up.  I am learning.  I am growing.

I never thought that I would spend hours online researching how to play with my children.  I assumed it was ingrained knowledge that automatically made itself known once you were a mother.  But its not.  Some people have to learn daily how to interact with their children.  I do everything I can to educate myself so I can grow to be a better parent in every way.  Play time is my struggle.  But I will prevail.  I will learn and grow.  And some day, I hope to sit on the floor with my grandchildren, surrounded by toys, and know just what to do with that train and that pony.